October 2017

And so we began

with bright

nineteen-year-

old

eyes

mirroring muddied

toilet-water-

girlish raucous.

And later

when I sat next to 

him

dreamy glazing eyes 

he said “I know you’re drunk

because you’re sitting

so close to me”

And thereafter

the quiet

unsure

reserved pursed 

lips finally

relaxed into a 

snicker

and sly grins

painted across

a new

rosy-cheeked canvas

I was funny, I was loud

I was some type 

of unapologetic

confidence.

And when tears ran

they really ran

And chuckles 

boomed

through 

houses 

garages

railroad car apartments

breath-fog accompanied by 

that warm, sweet 

security

while the

everything

toppled downward

and then fell back up-

you were there.

“long day”

“long week”

“long life”

and so on

and then

everything

again. 

and now

the rage

has finally

burst

through my veins

the absent smiles are now

gritted teeth through which

violent premonitions 

seep through

and I find

myself no longer able

to dance with you,

my old trusted friend

without

falling into 

the precarious

abyss.